Whole

A heart fully human is whole,
mine (?),
well it is shattered,
bits and pieces scattered within,
little loves here and there,
no inner connection
like an army at war with itself.

So Lord,
for you is my love,
my devotion,
just another shattered piece?

Or is it your love that is important,
slowing binding my heart,
until one day I also
will become fully human.

Free to forgive,
unafraid to love,
embracing the pain that existence brings,
not seeking escape,
just a yearning for more life,
love,
my tears able to flow freely.

Ah yes tears,
still a mystery for me,
too many walls and doors locked down,
also inner windows shut,
yet your grace O Lord
runs me to the ground,
so perhaps one day
the salt of freedom and healing will be tasted!

Will I be able to bear it,
will I die,
will I live,
I care not for I long for it so,
my fear slowly dying,
from you gentle healing, hidden, touch.